Overheard In Hampton Roads

I’m as serious as dick cancer

“

—	Portsmouth

What are you, the meat whisperer?

“

—

Norfolk

I just heard the siren. That means you won’t be able to get a drink for the next five minutes, because all the waitresses are over there shaking their asses, and we’re sitting over here like a bunch of fags.

“

—	Chesapeake

I was only with her because she had cancer.

“

—	Chesapeake

Nobody can please me like me.

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—	Chesapeake

I only use the urinal on the end because that’s the one with a mirror, and I like to see my dick.

“

—	Chesapeake

Aww, it’s baby’s first experience with a drunk lady.

“

—	Chesapeake

Did you know that I know the owner of church’s chicken?

Really? Why don’t we have free chicken?

Well, I’m not FRIENDS with him…

For free chicken, you can fuck him.

“

—	Chesapeake

You’ll just have to shake your balls off a little.

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—	Virginia Beach

Bad things are happening in my mouth right now

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—	Virginia Beach