Overheard In Hampton Roads

She was giving out blowjobs in the parking lot. Well, I guess that explains her bangs. They were always pretty crispy.

“

—	Chesapeake.

CJ is kind of like a purse, let’s face it.

“

—	Chesapeake

Reese’s Pieces.” I have to make sure I say it slow so I say it right. I’m afraid I might slip up and say penises.

“

—	Virginia beach

Nuh uh! Every rear end I’ve been in..

“

—	Virginia Beach

There’s holes there, I’ll just stick it in.

“

—	Virginia Beach

I play with those all the time, sometimes.

“

—	Virginia Beach

“jeez, what is wrong with you?”

“do you need a handjob or something??”

“maybe”

“ok, tell me exactly what I need to do…”

“

—

Norfolk

I’m as serious as dick cancer

“

—	Portsmouth

What are you, the meat whisperer?

“

—

Norfolk

I just heard the siren. That means you won’t be able to get a drink for the next five minutes, because all the waitresses are over there shaking their asses, and we’re sitting over here like a bunch of fags.

“

—	Chesapeake