“If they move in together, is he going to hang his degree up from Thomas Nelson?”
“The real question is, will her mom even let him hang it up at all?”
~ in Virginia Beach #
Overheard in Hampton Roads
I hate when warm beer makes my nipples hard. I just wanted to put that out there.
~ in Virginia Beach #
“I found out on the east coast, it’s all gooduck. Gooey ducks. Isn’t that what they’re called?”
“Yeah, I saw that on dirty jobs.”
“Oh yeah. The thing that looks like a male penis?”
“…”
“As opposed to a female penis?”
~ in Virginia Beach #
Yes, that’s F as in ‘phenomenal’.
~ in Norfolk #
This might be the smoothest, richest thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.
~ in Virginia Beach #
When I’m on bottom, I’ll let you finish.
~ in Virgina Beach #
“Everybody’s in this movie. I think even I’m in this movie. Shit, even dead people are in this movie.”
“There’s just a picture of Brittany Murphy’s corpse.”
“They’re using her as a stunt double. They’re throwing her off of buildings.”
“They dug her up just to shoot her.”
“Haha. Oh, that was in poor taste.”
~ in Virginia Beach #
You know what’ll be really good in your mouth?
~ in Virginia Beach #
We were all ghosts at one time. Reincarnation! Haven’t you ever heard of that? You’ll believe one day, son. You’ll see one. I wish I’d never banished the ones I used to have in this house so I could conjure one up and prove it to you.
~ in Portsmouth #
The only conspiracy theory I know ‘bout is Obamacare. And I think Jesse James’s new girlfriend is in on it. She’s a Nazi (pronouned nat-see) and that’s what Obama is.
~ in Portsmouth #
I want a cat cat, not no damn faggot cat.
~ in Portsmouth #
Why do you look so meaty?
~ in Virginia Beach #
Ow! It hurts every time I have to peel my tongue off!
~ in Virginia Beach #
“I thought cold air rises.”
“No, hot air rises. That’s how hot air balloons work.”
“But it’s always colder the higher you go up!”
~ in Virginia Beach #
